疫情下的新生活--分享給工作媽媽的話A new life norm during the pandemic -for working mothers
這時候，更需要及時地發現和接受自己的情緒，盡可能地提醒自己生活「在當下」。每當快要生氣 hold 不住的時候，提醒自己把注意力放在呼吸的鼻子上，隨著每個吸氣和呼氣，去感受當下的力量。
當我和海外的媽媽聊天，請教在這段在家辦公育兒的過程中，有沒有 "tips" 可以分享的時候，他們共同的回答都是：「沒有（笑）」幾乎就是開啟求生模式，相信「關關難過，關關過。」但是她們一致認為，在所有的事情上，降低期望值，接受不完美，生活就會過得比較輕鬆。
在工作上，尤其是在家辦公育兒的過程中，其實很難做到持續不間斷工作 8 小時，並付出 100% 的專注；但是這不代表，妳不可以做到 100% 的成績。我們需要不斷地和自己、主管、同事溝通，讓大家知道和明白，也許無法有和正常上班有一樣的工作時數與專注度，但是妳可以做出 100% 的成績。在這時間，performance matter 績效最重要，而不需要過度在意工作的時間，做自己能做的，把能做的部分做到最好，不須過分執著與他人比較。
5. 找尋 support net，依據妳的資源做溝通協調
- 如果妳家裡是有後援可以幫忙，妳可以和孩子溝通並一起設立共同工作的界線。 比如說，妳哪一個時段需要在自己的房間工作、哪個時間段可以陪孩子一起玩。請後援幫忙在妳工作的時段帶孩子，並協助處理其他家中雜事。
雖然這段時間對於爸爸媽媽來說，會是非常難熬，但是也會是非常難得的一段親子時間，我們能做的，就是 "hold your head up, up and up" 。對於孩子而言，多年後，他們不會記得疫情有多難，但是會記得，這段和爸爸媽媽獨處的時間。
As Taiwan elevates to level three out of four scales for the Covit situation, many people's lives are affected at a different level. The unknown, uncertainty and changes have brought us many fear, anxiety, and frustration.
While Europe and the US seem to resume normality gradually, Taiwan is heading to the worst community outbreak since the Pandemic started. Since last Saturday, Taipei and New Taipei Cities started a three-level alert. Everyone is suggested to stay at home trying to prevent the spread of the virus, including working from home, avoiding meeting with others, and school closure. The change happened so fast and suddenly. As a mother, especially a mother who needs to work, how can we adapt to this new change?
For us in Taiwan, all of this may sound very new. Still, for mothers in Europe, the US, or elsewhere, this kind of life has gone through a whole year. So I consulted several mothers who live outside of Taiwan and are very career-driven in the workplace: "How do they arrange their lives and how to balance "work" and "childcare" at home as much as possible.
1. Aware and acknowledge your feeling and emotions
All of these are "changes," they are, in other words as "moving targets". How we work now is different from how we used to work, which may pressure us. When an adult is stressed and uneasy and has one or more "noisy children" around him/her, the adult can easily be agitated.
All you can do is to aware and acknowledge your emotions and remind yourself as much as possible to live in " the moment." Whenever you are about to get angry, remind yourself to focus on breathing, to feel the power of the moment with each inhalation and exhalation.
Keep a habit of making yourself feel good every day. It can be a cup of hot coffee or a 30-minute yoga meditation before going to bed.
2. Establish a new life routine with the child
For the new life norm, children also need tremendous support to adapt to the new life routine. Parents need to help their children establish this new life routine in a short time. The easiest way is to follow the daily routine of the school: get up, eat and play around at a similar time. Establishing new life routines for everyone together, children are very resilient, we should believe that our children can adapt to it.
3. Accept imperfections
When I talked with the overseas mothers and asked if there are any "tips" to share for handling both work and parenting during this "stay-at-home" time, their typical answer was: "No (laugh)." They shared with me frankly that they live in the survival mode; they can only hope that "it will pass one day," in the meanwhile, lower expectations and accept imperfections, and life will be easier.
4. Do your best without being overly persistent and comparing
At work, especially in working at home with children, it is challenging to work continuously for 8 hours and pay 100% of concentration; but this does not mean that you cannot achieve 100%. We need to constantly communicate with ourselves, supervisors, and colleagues to let everyone know and understand that we may not have the same working hours and concentration as usual work, but we can achieve 100% results. During this time, performance matters, but time does not. Communicate, do what you can do, do it with your best when you can, don't compare with others, and overburden yourself.
5. Find a support net, communicate and coordinate according to your resources
If you have support at home to help, you can communicate with your children and set the boundaries of joint work together. For example, when do you need to work in your room and play with your children. Delegate housework and childcare to your support when you can.
If you don't have support at home at this time, you need to communicate with your partner and how to support each other. When you need work or join meetings, he will take care of the child; when he needs work, you will take care of the child. You can even take advantage of your child's nap time and sleep at night to increase work intensity.
If you don't have support at home, in addition to work, you still need to cook, organize housework, and other chores. It will probably be easier than you can invite your children to help. For small children (0-6 years old), the "work (cleaning, washing, cooking)" at home is actually "playing." In Montessori education, this is also part of the "practical work." Although it will be chaotic at first, it will gradually get better, which could be quality parent-child time.
Although this time will be challenging for many parents, it will also be an excellent parent-child bonding time. What we as parents can do is to "hold your head up, up and up." Many years later, children will not remember how difficult the Pandemic was, but they will remember the time spent alone with their parents.
Photo by Brian Wangenheim on Unsplash