獨立-為什麼獨立很重要，我們如何為孩子們培養獨立？Independence- why independence is important, and how can we foster it for our children?

親愛的爸爸媽媽：

作為父母，我們總希望無條件地保護我們的孩子，支持他們，並儘其所能為他們提供最好的生活。但是，雖然很悲傷地指出，但是也是很誠實地承認，我們無法一輩子都為孩子們提供幫助。

如果我們知道，我們無法永遠陪伴和保護我們的孩子，那麼我們是否應該在某種程度上去幫助他們變得獨立，無論是機能性，智慧的，情感上還是財務上的獨立？

獨立對於孩子獲得自信和自尊也是至關重要的。通過變得獨立，孩子將在這世界上獲得歸屬感和體驗到人生的重要性。在蒙特梭利語境中，獨立意味著"幫助我自己做！我可以通過自由選擇，嘗試，跌倒並在需要時尋求幫助來建立我的信心和技能，這樣我將做出負責任的選擇。"

獨立不是與生俱來的；這是我們作為人需要學習和培養的技能，是我們需要通過各種人生的生活經驗而累積起來的能力。建立獨立性還需要三個方面的元素：意志，選擇和能力。

為了幫助孩子充分發揮潛能，我們需要了解她的內在動力，並為孩子形成她自我個性提供最佳引導和環境。成人有責任協助孩子去實現自我，但是也只有孩子自己才能實現自我建設。我們觀察孩子，了解孩子的內在需求，為​​孩子準備合適的環境，然後放手。 孩子自己要經歷成長和自我學習，才可以學會獨立，這是她自我成長的過程。儘管我們可能認為我們正在"幫助"兒童，但實際上，無論成人何時提供幫助或打擾，她都會成為兒童成長的障礙。

作為父母，我們如何從家裡環境去幫助孩子建立這種獨立性？

• 為孩子的成長準備合適的環境。成人可以提供兒童大小的家具來進行自我護理活動（例如衣服）或兒童大小的實際生活活動工具（例如兒童大小的刀或拖把）。

• 讓孩子自己獨立完成各種任務。儘管這會花費更長的時間，或者甚至孩子她可能做錯了。例如，如果孩子想自己穿鞋，請給她額外的時間來體驗。大人應該要抓緊雙手，以便不插手，只有當孩子請求您幫忙的時候才提供幫助。

• 讓孩子照顧自己，無論是自己吃飯，自己刷牙還是自己上廁所。

• 提供選擇。孩子可以體驗並學習為自己做出選擇。為每個選項提供簡單的結果預想，教孩子做出負責任的選擇。

• 尊重孩子，鼓勵他們在"限制範圍"內自由工作。設立界線，讓孩子自由選擇和移動；孩子可以通過自由的環境學習獨立，獲得獨立性並創造紀律。"界線"，比如說：不可以用打人，不可以在馬路上跑。

• 鼓勵孩子學習新東西；比如，當她可以自己用勺子吃飯時，鼓勵她使用筷子。

幫助我們的孩子變得獨立並不意味著我們不在乎她。因為我們在乎，所以我們希望給予她最好的。"授人以魚，不如授人以漁"， 我們希望孩子她可以發揮自己的全部潛力，而這一切只能通過獨立來實現。

Dear parents:

As parents, we always hope to protect our children unconditionally, support them and do our best to provide them with the best life possible. But, honestly and sadly, we can't help our children throughout our lives.

Suppose we know that we cannot accompany and protect our children forever. Shall we somehow help them become independent to some extent, whether it is functional, intellectual, emotional, or financial independence.?

Independence is also crucial for the child to gain self-confidence and self-esteem. In becoming independent, the child will gain a sense of belonging and importance in the world. Independence in the Montessori context means "Help me do it myself, and I can build confidence through freedom to choose, try, fall and ask for help when needed, so that I can, and I will make responsible choices."

Independence is not born with; it is a skill and experience a human being needs to be learned and cultivated. Three aspects are necessary for building independence: Will, Choices, and Skills.

To help the child reach her full potential, we need to understand her inner drives and offer the best guidance and environment, where the child will form her personality. Only the child can achieve self-construction. Adults have the responsibility to assist her. We observe the child, understand her inner needs, prepare the right environment for the child, and then let go -it is the child who strives to be independent to grow and learn. It is her process. While we may believe we are "helping" the child, in fact, any time the adult offers assistance or interrupts, she becomes an impediment to the child's growth.

How can we, as parents, foster such independence at home for our children?

- Set the child up for success. Prepare a suitable environment for the child's development. Adults can provide child-sized furniture to practice self-care activities (e.g., dress) or child-size practical life activities tools (like child-size knife or mop).

- Let the child do her tasks by herself, even though it will take a longer time, and she may even do it wrong. For example, if the child wants to put on her shoes by herself, give her extra time to experience. Only help when you are asked.

- Let the child take care of herself, whether eat by herself, brush her teeth by herself, or use the toilet by herself.

- Provide choices. The child can experience and learn to choose for herself. Teach the child to make responsible choices by providing simple consequences with each option.

- Respect the child, encouraging freedom within limits. Enable the child to choose and move freely and set up boundaries; the child can work individually, with space, acquire independence, and create discipline through the freedom environment. "Boundary," for example, you can't hit people or run on the road.

- Encourage the child to learn something new; when she can eat by herself with the spoon, encourage her to use the chopsticks.

Helping our child to become independent does not mean that we do not care about her. Because we care, we want the best for her. We want her to achieve all her potential, which can only be strived through independence.