親愛的先生 - Dear husband
親愛的先生，
我愛你！很久之前我愛上了你，然後我們決定不管風風雨雨，我們永遠都會互相扶持陪伴。然後我們成了家變成了一對已婚夫婦，再然後我們有了一個可愛的孩子。
可是當我們的孩子出生後，有些事情改變了，也許是感覺改變了。我們的對話都圍繞著家事務處理，除了孩子的照顧話題，就是家庭主題的討論。我們不再約會，我們也不再為彼此創造浪漫，我們正在漸行漸遠。
在我成為母親之前，我努力讀書，上好的學校，住在國外，有自己的事業。當我們的孩子出生後，情況卻發生了變化。我的職業生涯不再是優先處理而變成為這個家庭的次要選項，我不再擁有自己的獨立生活。是的，有時候，你努力在幫助我照顧小孩和這個家，從而讓我可以和我的朋友出去聚會。但這真的再也不同了，我無法用言語形容...
成為一個母親讓我的人生完整，我真的是非常開心和滿足，請不要誤會我，但是我確實是經常感到孤獨，空虛和不安全。
相信我，當您的一天可能對工作項目感到興奮或艱難時，您還是為自己取得成就，也許是一份獎金，一次晉升機會，又或者是一個簡單的認可。
而我的一天：換尿布，餵吃，做早餐，清理，折疊衣服，和孩子一起玩，帶孩子午睡，為我們的孩子準備食物，做午餐，餵吃，帶孩子午睡，帶孩子出去散步，洗澡，餵吃，打掃衛生，做飯，洗衣服，洗碗，餵吃並帶孩子上床睡覺，甚至也許半夜醒來照顧我們的孩子......每天結束時，除了照顧孩子和家庭之外，我真的不知道自己取得了什麼成就。每天所有這些事情任務都是重複的和事務性的......
當你在工作環境中時，也許你會遇到有趣的人並且可能會有社交活動。而我的社交圈是媽媽的支持小組，話題通常與小孩有關。天哪，我非常想念成年人的社交活動。當然，我可以與朋友或前同事重新建立聯繫，但這再也不是即興的聚會，而是必須提前計劃和協調。
我知道你是一個很棒的的先生和一個了不起的爸爸，我相信你會非常照顧我們。但是你可能永遠無法理解我的感覺：當我們爭吵時，財務上的不安全感總是困擾著我，因為我是依賴著你的。
在過去的20年裡，我努力學習和工作以變得獨立，現在自從有了孩子以來，我卻成為依賴...
也許，你心裡也在想：既然我如此沮喪，為什麼不回去工作呢？我愛我的孩子，我想可以的話多陪伴我們的孩子。現實情況是，我不能100％致力於公司工作同時與孩子共度時光。我需要在下午四點去學校接孩子，孩子生病或者學校停課，我需要陪伴小孩。我也希望他每天可以與他的爸爸媽媽（至少是我們中的一個人）共度數小時。這裡, 沒有靈活的工作文化，如果我下午四點要離開去接孩子，沒有公司會認為我是嚴肅認真對待工作。我們在這裡沒有任何家庭支持。為了給我們的孩子提供最好的環境，我們決定我成為孩子的主要照顧者。
我知道，如果我必須再次選擇自己的孩子或我的職業，我將毫不猶豫地選擇我的孩子勝過任何職業。我也知道我們已經討論過並共同做出此決定，我不是要抱怨，更不是正在抱怨。也許孩子長大後我的感覺會好起來。有時候，我只是希望自己能是我自己，完整的自己；是一個妻子，完整的妻子；是一個母親，完整的母親。我只希望你了解它，關心我，也許認可我為這個家付出的努力。
我仍然瘋狂地愛著你！
愛你的，
妻
Dear husband,
I love you! I fell in love with you, and we decided to be there for each other forever, through thick and thin. Then we become a married couple; then we have a lovely child.
Things have changed after our child was born; perhaps feelings have changed. Our conversations are very transactional, only all about child care or household topics. We do not date anymore, we are not creating a romance between us anymore, And we are drifting apart.
Before I became a mother, I studied, went to a great school, lived abroad, had a career. After our child was born, situations have changed. My career is no longer a priority but a secondary option for the family, and I no longer have my own independent life. Yes, sometimes, you helped me with childcare and household to go out with my friends for social connection. But it is different; I can not describe it with words...
Being a mother makes my life complete. I am thrilled and satisfied. Please don't get me wrong, but I do feel lonely, empty, and insecure often.
When your day may be exciting or tough with work projects, believe me, you will achieve something for yourself, perhaps a bonus, a promotion, or even recognition.
However, my day：diapers changing, feeding, making breakfast, cleaning up, folding clothes, playing with the child, bringing the child to nap, preparing food for our child, making lunch, feeding, getting the child to nap, taking the child out for a walk, bathing, feeding, cleaning up, cooking dinner, clothes washing, dishwashing, feeding and bringing the child to bed, and perhaps waking up in the middle of the nights caring for our child... At the end of each day, I don't really know what I have achieved, besides taking care of the child and the household. All these tasks are repetitive and transactional day by day...
When you are out there in the work environment, perhaps you will meet interesting people and socialize. My socializing circle is the mums' supportive group, and often topics are child-related. Gosh, I miss so much about adults' socialization. Of course, I can reconnect with my friends or ex-colleagues, but it will not be a spontaneous hangout，it must be planned and coordinated in advance.
I know that you are a great husband and an amazing dad; I trust you take care of us much. But you may never understand my feeling: the sense of financial insecurity always haunts me when we argue, I am dependent on you. I studied and worked so hard for the past 20 years to become independent, and now since we have a child, I have become dependent...
You may wonder, why don't I go back to work if I am really that frustrated? I love my child, and I want to be there for my child. The reality is that I cannot be 100% committed to working in the company while spending time with my children. I need to pick up my child from school at four in the afternoon. If the child is sick or the school is closed, I need to accompany the child. I also hope to spend hours with his parents (at least one of us) every day. There is no flexible working culture here, and no company can take me seriously here if I leave at 4pm to pick him up. We do not have any family support here. To make the best scenario for our child, we decided to be the primary carer.
I know, if I have to choose my child or my career again, I will, without any hesitation, choose my child over any career. I knew that we had discussed it and made the decision together, I didn't mean to complain about it, nor am I complaining. Perhaps my feelings would become better when the child becomes older. Sometimes I just simply wish that I can be myself, fully myself; be a wife, fully wife; and be a mother, fully mother. I just want you to understand it, care about me, and perhaps recognize my family's efforts.
I am still madly in love with you!
Love,
Wife
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