新手爸媽的挑戰 - Facing Challenges as new parents 

Photographies from pexel.com 

先來聊聊我的家庭吧：我和我丈夫都擁有頂尖大學碩士學位，在大型跨國公司工作多年。我先生目前仍在為跨國企業工作。我們居住過幾個不同的國家，去過六大洲的50多個國家，在世界各地到處旅行。

在我的第一個兒子出生前，我們結婚也快十年了並且對父母這個角色都信誓旦旦，覺得準備好了。

但這樣的想法在我們第一次經歷孩子徹夜哭泣的夜晚時，完全瓦解。我們竟然是多麼的無知 ，所有過去累積而來的學位成就、企業管理或旅經數個國家的經驗，在孩子哭鬧的夜晚都毫無幫助！抱著孩子迷你的身軀，我在公寓來回走動，試圖安撫他，竟然如此艱難且疲憊。

兒子出生的頭兩年，有許多時候我不知道他狀態如何，我時常內心充滿疑問，不曉得孩子這樣的成長過程是否處於正確合理的發展；我想知道在理解和處理他的情緒時，我如何才能從「積極訓練」中支持他。在異鄉，沒有家人可以幫助我們解決種種疑問。我們只能透過網路搜索，或是與經歷同樣過程的朋友在電話或訊息中一字一句討論類似的情況，這真的很難！

我聽聞過蒙特梭利教育，但是我不知道如何運用在自己的孩子身上；面對與蒙特梭利教育預設狀況不同時，我該如何處理？讓孩子自行探索以及由父母教導他如何做這兩者之間該如何平衡拿捏？成千上萬的問題在我腦海裡迸出。

對我而言，有時後我也只想與理念相同的人聊天，甚至有時也想談談孩子、丈夫以外的話題。我從職業婦女過度到全職媽媽，從多年來在熟悉的歐洲所建立的舒適生活圈，來到無親無故的台北獨自生活，這一點也不簡單。

種種原因讓我極度渴望有一群夥伴。曾經有人告訴過我：「養育一個孩子是需要一個村莊的力量」我常在想，到底哪裡是我能歸屬的「村莊」？，如果可能的話，是否有一個「村莊」是基於蒙特梭利教育理念而來的呢？

因為找不到一個屬於我的「村莊」，至少在這裡無法輕易找著，於是「小花-小小蒙台梭利社群 Petite Blumen-Little Montessori Community」這樣的種子在我內心慢慢深根發芽。

petite在法語是「小」的概念；Blumen則是德文中「花朵」的意思。 如今在對的時間，遇到了對的夥伴，給予了對的「營養」，Petite Blumen開始慢慢發芽茁壯！

A little background about our family: my husband and I both graduated with a master degree, worked many years for big multinational corporations (he is still working for the multinational corporation), have lived in few different countries and travelled around the world (we have been to more than 50 countries over 6 continents!)

We had been almost married for 10 years and felt super ready for becoming parents before my first son was born.

BOOM! "How naive we were!", this was the first reaction we had when we first experienced our child's unsettled crying/sleepless night. All the degrees, experiences in corporations or travelling prepared us nothing! Holding the tiny human being in my arms, I walked around the apartment and tried to calm him down. It was tough and exhausting.

Along the way of our son's first two years, there are moments that I did not know what was wrong with him. Numerous questions about his development popped up: Is the growth in the right order or is it normal? I often wondered how can I support him from the so-called "positive discipline" while trying to understand and deal with his emotions? With no family here, who can help us to transit, we can only search on the internet, chat with friends who may have similar situations over messages or phones. It was hard!

I know about Montessori education, but how can I cooperate at home for my child? How do I handle different situations from Montessori prospects? What is the balance between letting my child do it by himself and showing him how it should be done? I do have thousands of questions in my head day by day....

Even for myself, sometimes I just want to get out there and talk to people who have similar mindsets, sometimes maybe just talk about topics other than children and husbands. The transition from working lady to staying home mum, from living in Europe with a tiny community we had built over the years to living in Taipei alone with very limited friends are definitely not easy ones.

All of the above reasons have prompted me to want to have a group of partners. I remembered someone told me that "It takes a village to raise a child." Where can I find this village where I may belong, and if possible, a village where it is full of Montessori knowledge or "know-how"?

Because I could not find one, or I could not easily find one here, the seed from "Petite Blumen-Little Montessori Community" was planted in my mind ("Petite" is "little" in French, "Blumen" is "flower" in German. Today, with the right time, right partners and right "nutrition", it has started to sprout....