蒙特梭利在我家 Montessori in my home
"蒙特梭利"是一種生活態度，它不應只是在學校中發生，更應該在家進行。家，是孩子的根。一屋，晝夜，三餐，四季都圍繞著這個家進行。對於小孩而言，從他哇哇出生，到坐，爬，站，走等等人生的里程碑，這一切幾乎都是在這個家發生。而他所認識的世界也是從家開始，因此我們認為回歸最初，家才是蒙特梭利教育的中心。
在家蒙特梭利其實不需要很貴的教具，或者受過特別的專業訓練。只需要照顧者用心去觀察，和"用心地幫助"。那麼如何在家蒙特梭利，從哪裡開始，要做什麼？ 在小花的第一場"蒙特梭利在我家"的活動中，四位分享者分享了各自的在家蒙特梭利旅程和想法。
觀察與尊重。
觀察就是要放下偏見，放下預設立場，減少介入，相信孩子可以做到。從孩子的出生開始，孩子對這個世界充滿好奇，他通過各種感官感受去了解這個世界。給予孩子空間和時間去探索，當孩子集中注意去"工作"的時候，成人要忍得住不要去打擾。蒙特梭利博士在"吸收性心智"中"讚美，幫助甚至是一個表情，都足以打斷孩子或破壞工作活動......。作為教師/引導者其中一個成功的原則是：孩子一旦開始專心工作，我們就像孩子不存在一樣的在活動。"
尊重是指用簡單的語言與孩子清晰交談，將注意力集中在我們希望他們做的事情上，而不是我們不希望他們做的事情上。尊重是指允許孩子做他/他力所能及的事情。孩子仍在學習和完善日常技能。與成年人一樣，我們也會練習，犯錯誤，希望從錯誤中學習並完善任務。所以成人要放慢腳步，給孩子學習的機會，犯錯誤並改正自己。
比如說，孩子對"自己吃"開始感興趣，也開始喜歡探索用湯匙來自己吃飯，在所難免的，孩子會吃得很狼狽，甚至一地殘局。這時候，爸爸媽媽是繼續讓孩子探索，自己吃? 還是會說，"那麼亂，那麼髒，不要練習了，我來喂好了。"? 直接喂，是少了很多麻煩，但是我們卻否認了孩子的興趣，剝奪了孩子練習的機會。 將心比心，在您第一次接觸到某個新工作項目時，您也會需要時間去理解和練習，如果您在練習的過程中犯錯，您的主管直接告訴您："不要練了，太麻煩了。"， 您會如何反應？
我們要用心地"幫助"孩子，其實有些時候是要用心地"不作為"，通過"無為"，從而去幫助孩子。孩子才可以從中探索，從中學習和練習。
一起"玩"- 生活的實際活動
在孩子還小的時候，最好的玩具其實就是各種生活的活動，比如說做菜，折衣服，掃地拖地等。Ivy，ivy's house montessori創辦人,在"蒙特梭利在我家"的分享到：在孩子0-6歲的階段，撇除了吃喝拉撒的時間，孩子是在"玩"，只是這個"玩"是有一個基本型態的：
*有1/3的時間，孩子是希望和我們成人一起玩。這個時候，成人可以和孩子一起"工作"：比如說一起備菜"孩子洗菜，成人切菜"；一起洗碗"孩子洗碗，成人擦碗"。孩子對於成人的"工作"，實實在在的生活體驗是充滿好奇和興趣的。這也是孩子從生活中認識世界。
*有1/3的時間，孩子和成人是平行在互動，這個時候，成人和孩子是可以適當的各自做各自的事情，又需要互相在互動。
*還有1/3的時間，孩子是想要自己玩，這個時候，成人是要管得住自己，不要去打擾孩子，讓孩子自己專心玩。
預備好的環境
無論是否經過深思熟慮，家庭都是一個準備好了的環境。許多孩子僅僅因為屬於自己的空間没有被考虑过，而在自己的家中感到"陌生"。 一旦孩子開始活動，他/她就成為這個新世界的互動探索者。被賦予行動和探索自由的孩子對他/她自己和世界都建立了信心。通過發現"物體"而激發出的移動行為和自由地移動並且獲取該"物體"為孩子創造了一種自尊感。孩子不僅了解正在探索的物體，而且還通過運動本身建立了腦與身體的神經網絡。
許多父母從未想過孩子幼小的身體的不同比例，以及過大的工具或不舒適的家具如何阻礙他們執行任務的能力。因此作為家長，我們可以使家成為一個可以讓孩子擁有探索權利並且自由探索的安全地方。
家庭應適合各種各樣的家庭成員。父母不需要重新裝修整個家來歡迎孩子，而是要看到或者做少許的改動以使孩子盡可能獨立地工作。比如說是添加兒童的離乳椅，孩子可以自己決定什麼時候吃或不吃；添加高腳幫助椅，孩子可以一起參與廚房工作；甚至是適合孩子尺寸的打掃工具或者廚房用具。
自我調適和放手
Doris，部落格"先生不姓蒙，養出一個蒙式娃"創辦人，在"蒙特梭利在我家"的分享： 孩子出生的第一年是很多的學習與反思，學習自我調適，學習如何觀察孩子，學習相信孩子可以做得到，學習放手，反思自己是否成為孩子成長的障礙礙，這是我當媽媽的日常。是啊，因為愛，我們會害怕孩子受傷，但是也是因為愛，我們選擇相信和支持。在育兒修行這一課中，自我調適和學會放手其實是最難的。 沒有人天生就是爸爸媽媽，我們很多時候也是第一次當爸爸媽媽，所以在所難免，我們也會有做得不好的地方，過程也是跌跌撞撞的。
我們要先做自己，然後再做妻子和媽媽或者先生和爸爸的角色。當我們先做好自己時，孩子才可以做真正地做自己。當我們能與自己的內心和睦寧靜相處時，我們才有辦法與我們的孩子們和睦寧靜相處，而我們的孩子們才可以和自己和睦寧靜相處。
自我調適和放手，還表現在與其他主要照顧者互動的過程中。因為彼此的原生家庭和生活經歷不一樣，造就了我們在照顧孩子的態度和方式不一樣的。對於自己與同住的家人或者聘請的保母做法不一致這件事情，我們必須接受事實： 我們並沒有辦法改變對方，我們只能溝通、尊重對方的做法。
我們可以告訴對方彼此的育兒底線，比如說孩子的安全或者某些行為的獨立；或者是可以透過自己在的時候，讓照顧者看到孩子其實可以自己做，鼓勵孩子自己做。我們也可以告訴孩子，成人都是從"愛孩子"的出發點出發，只是大家愛的方式不一樣，這也表現在不同的生活體驗中，讓孩子認識和理解自由與限制。
其實，在家蒙特梭利真的不難，您準備好了嗎？如果您對"在家蒙特梭利"有任何的疑問，歡迎和我們互動溝通探討。
"Montessori" is an attitude to life. It should not only happen in school but also at home. Home is the root of the child. A house, day and night, three meals, all four seasons surround this so-called "home." For a child: from his birth, to be able to sit, crawl, stand and walk such life milestones almost all happened in this home. And the world he knows starts from home. Therefore, we firmly believe that applying Montessori at home is the center of Montessori education.
Applying Montessori at home does not need expensive teaching materials or a professional training certificate. It only requires caregivers to observe and "help" mindfully. So how does Montessori at home, where to start, and what to do? In Petite Blumen's first "Montessori in My Home" event, four-panel speakers shared their Montessori journey and thoughts.
Observe and respect.
Observation is to let go of prejudice, let go of a preset mindset, reduce intervention, and believe that the child can do it independently. From the beginning of the child's birth, the child is full of curiosity about the world. He understands the world through various senses. Give the child space and time to explore. When the child focuses on "work," adults should not disturb him. In the "Absorbent Mind," Dr. Montessori mentioned, "praise, help or even an expression are enough to interrupt a child or disrupt work activities... One of the successful principles of being a teacher/guide is: once a child starts to concentrate on work, we should act as if the child does not exist."
Respect refers to speaking clearly with the child in proper but straightforward language, focusing on what we want them to do, not what we don't want them to do. Respect means allowing the child to do what he can do. Children are still learning and perfecting daily skills. Like adults, we will practice, make mistakes, and hope to learn from mistakes and improve tasks. So adults should slow down, give the child a chance to learn, make mistakes, and self-correct.
For example, when the child starts showing interest in "eating independently," he also begins to like exploring using a spoon to eat by himself. Inevitably, the child will start making the eating scene like a horror movie. Will caregivers continue to let the child explore and eat by himself? or will say, "It's so messy, so dirty, you don't practice anymore, I'll feed you."
Feeding by the caregiver is a lot less trouble. Still, we are denying the child's interest and depriving the child of the opportunity to practice. If this happens to us as adults? When you work on a very new topic project, you will also need time to understand and practice. If you make a mistake during the practices, your supervisor will tell you directly: "Don't practice, it's too much trouble. ", how would you feel?
We need to "help" our child mindfully. Sometimes we have to "inaction" mindfully by "doing nothing" to help children. So that our child can explore, learn, and practice from it.
Let's play together - the actual practical life activities.
When a child is young, the best toys are various practical life activities, such as cooking, folding clothes, sweeping, and mopping the floor. Ivy, the founder of ivy's house Montessori, shared in the event "Montessori at my house."
When the child is 0-6 years old, excluding the time of eating, drinking, going to the toilet, and sleeping, the child is spending the rest of the time "playing," but this "playing" has a basic pattern:
*In 1/3 of the time, the child wants to play with us adults. At this time, the adult can "work" together with the child: for example, prepare dishes together "the child washes vegetables, and the adult cuts vegetables"; or wash dishes together "the child washes dishes, and the adult wipes dishes." Children are full of curiosity and interest in the "practical lifestyle work" and real-life experience. And children learn about the world from all these practical life activities.
*In 1/3 of the time, the child and the adult interact in parallel. At this time, the adult and the child can do their things separately; however, occasionally, they need to interact with each other.
*In 1/3 of the time, the child wants to play alone by himself. At this time, the adult must control himself, not disturbing the child, and let the child concentrate on playing.
Prepared environment
The home is a prepared environment, regardless of whether it is well thought out or not. Many children feel "unfamiliar" in their homes simply because their own space has not been considered. Once a child starts moving, he becomes an interactive explorer of this new world. A child who is given the freedom to act and explore has confidence in himself and the world. The movement behavior stimulated by discovering the "object" and moving freely and acquiring the "object" creates a sense of self-esteem for the child. The child understands the object being explored and builds a neural network between the brain and the body through the exercise itself.
Many parents have never thought about the different proportions of their child's young body and how oversized tools or uncomfortable furniture can hinder their ability to perform tasks. Therefore, as parents, we can make our home a safe place where children can have the right to explore and explore freely.
The home should be suitable for all family members. Parents do not need to redecorate the entire house to welcome the child, but to see or make small changes to help them work as independently as possible. For example, adults can add a child's weaning chair at home, so the child can decide when to eat or not. Or adults can add a help tower to help the child participate in the kitchen work together with the parents. Or simply adults provide child-size cleaning tools or kitchen utensils.
Self-adjustment and letting go.
Doris, the founder of the blog "先生不姓蒙，養出一個蒙式娃," shared in the event "Montessori in My Home": I have learned and reflected a lot during my child's first year. Learning to self-adjust, learning how to observe the child, learning to believe that the child can do it by herself, and learning to let go. I often reflect on whether I am the one who becomes an obstacle to the child's development. Such learning and reflecting are essential parts of my life, the mum's daily life.
Indeed we are afraid that the child will hurt himself because we love him. But because of love, we can also choose to believe and support. In the parenting journey, self-adjustment and learning to let go are the most difficult to practice. No one is born to be a parent. We are often the first time parents. Therefore, it is inevitable that we will also make mistakes, and the parenting journey is possibly bumpy.
We have to be ourselves first, and then be the role of wife and mother. When we first are ourselves, our children can be indeed themselves truly. When we can make peace with ourselves, we can get along with our children in peace, and then our children can also make peace with themselves.
Self-adjustment and letting go also manifested in the process of interacting with other primary caregivers. Because each other's original families and life experiences are different, we have different attitudes and ways of caring for our children. We must accept that we can not change each other; we can only communicate and respect each other's practices. We can communicate with other caregivers about the bottom line of parenting, such as the child's safety. We can also try to let the other caregivers see that the child can do it by himself. We can explain to the child that we as caregivers all start with "love," but how we express love is different, reflecting various ways of taking care of him.
Applying Montessori at home is not difficult. Are you ready to begin the journey? If you have any questions about "Montessori at Home," you are welcome to contact us for more information.