蒙特梭利在我家 Montessori in my home
比如說，孩子對"自己吃"開始感興趣，也開始喜歡探索用湯匙來自己吃飯，在所難免的，孩子會吃得很狼狽，甚至一地殘局。這時候，爸爸媽媽是繼續讓孩子探索，自己吃? 還是會說，"那麼亂，那麼髒，不要練習了，我來喂好了。"? 直接喂，是少了很多麻煩，但是我們卻否認了孩子的興趣，剝奪了孩子練習的機會。 將心比心，在您第一次接觸到某個新工作項目時，您也會需要時間去理解和練習，如果您在練習的過程中犯錯，您的主管直接告訴您："不要練了，太麻煩了。"， 您會如何反應？
在孩子還小的時候，最好的玩具其實就是各種生活的活動，比如說做菜，折衣服，掃地拖地等。Ivy，ivy's house montessori創辦人,在"蒙特梭利在我家"的分享到：在孩子0-6歲的階段，撇除了吃喝拉撒的時間，孩子是在"玩"，只是這個"玩"是有一個基本型態的：
Doris，部落格"先生不姓蒙，養出一個蒙式娃"創辦人，在"蒙特梭利在我家"的分享： 孩子出生的第一年是很多的學習與反思，學習自我調適，學習如何觀察孩子，學習相信孩子可以做得到，學習放手，反思自己是否成為孩子成長的障礙礙，這是我當媽媽的日常。是啊，因為愛，我們會害怕孩子受傷，但是也是因為愛，我們選擇相信和支持。在育兒修行這一課中，自我調適和學會放手其實是最難的。 沒有人天生就是爸爸媽媽，我們很多時候也是第一次當爸爸媽媽，所以在所難免，我們也會有做得不好的地方，過程也是跌跌撞撞的。
"Montessori" is an attitude to life. It should not only happen in school but also at home. Home is the root of the child. A house, day and night, three meals, all four seasons surround this so-called "home." For a child: from his birth, to be able to sit, crawl, stand and walk such life milestones almost all happened in this home. And the world he knows starts from home. Therefore, we firmly believe that applying Montessori at home is the center of Montessori education.
Applying Montessori at home does not need expensive teaching materials or a professional training certificate. It only requires caregivers to observe and "help" mindfully. So how does Montessori at home, where to start, and what to do? In Petite Blumen's first "Montessori in My Home" event, four-panel speakers shared their Montessori journey and thoughts.
Observe and respect.
Observation is to let go of prejudice, let go of a preset mindset, reduce intervention, and believe that the child can do it independently. From the beginning of the child's birth, the child is full of curiosity about the world. He understands the world through various senses. Give the child space and time to explore. When the child focuses on "work," adults should not disturb him. In the "Absorbent Mind," Dr. Montessori mentioned, "praise, help or even an expression are enough to interrupt a child or disrupt work activities... One of the successful principles of being a teacher/guide is: once a child starts to concentrate on work, we should act as if the child does not exist."
Respect refers to speaking clearly with the child in proper but straightforward language, focusing on what we want them to do, not what we don't want them to do. Respect means allowing the child to do what he can do. Children are still learning and perfecting daily skills. Like adults, we will practice, make mistakes, and hope to learn from mistakes and improve tasks. So adults should slow down, give the child a chance to learn, make mistakes, and self-correct.
For example, when the child starts showing interest in "eating independently," he also begins to like exploring using a spoon to eat by himself. Inevitably, the child will start making the eating scene like a horror movie. Will caregivers continue to let the child explore and eat by himself? or will say, "It's so messy, so dirty, you don't practice anymore, I'll feed you."
Feeding by the caregiver is a lot less trouble. Still, we are denying the child's interest and depriving the child of the opportunity to practice. If this happens to us as adults? When you work on a very new topic project, you will also need time to understand and practice. If you make a mistake during the practices, your supervisor will tell you directly: "Don't practice, it's too much trouble. ", how would you feel?
We need to "help" our child mindfully. Sometimes we have to "inaction" mindfully by "doing nothing" to help children. So that our child can explore, learn, and practice from it.
Let's play together - the actual practical life activities.
When a child is young, the best toys are various practical life activities, such as cooking, folding clothes, sweeping, and mopping the floor. Ivy, the founder of ivy's house Montessori, shared in the event "Montessori at my house."
When the child is 0-6 years old, excluding the time of eating, drinking, going to the toilet, and sleeping, the child is spending the rest of the time "playing," but this "playing" has a basic pattern:
*In 1/3 of the time, the child wants to play with us adults. At this time, the adult can "work" together with the child: for example, prepare dishes together "the child washes vegetables, and the adult cuts vegetables"; or wash dishes together "the child washes dishes, and the adult wipes dishes." Children are full of curiosity and interest in the "practical lifestyle work" and real-life experience. And children learn about the world from all these practical life activities.
*In 1/3 of the time, the child and the adult interact in parallel. At this time, the adult and the child can do their things separately; however, occasionally, they need to interact with each other.
*In 1/3 of the time, the child wants to play alone by himself. At this time, the adult must control himself, not disturbing the child, and let the child concentrate on playing.
The home is a prepared environment, regardless of whether it is well thought out or not. Many children feel "unfamiliar" in their homes simply because their own space has not been considered. Once a child starts moving, he becomes an interactive explorer of this new world. A child who is given the freedom to act and explore has confidence in himself and the world. The movement behavior stimulated by discovering the "object" and moving freely and acquiring the "object" creates a sense of self-esteem for the child. The child understands the object being explored and builds a neural network between the brain and the body through the exercise itself.
Many parents have never thought about the different proportions of their child's young body and how oversized tools or uncomfortable furniture can hinder their ability to perform tasks. Therefore, as parents, we can make our home a safe place where children can have the right to explore and explore freely.
The home should be suitable for all family members. Parents do not need to redecorate the entire house to welcome the child, but to see or make small changes to help them work as independently as possible. For example, adults can add a child's weaning chair at home, so the child can decide when to eat or not. Or adults can add a help tower to help the child participate in the kitchen work together with the parents. Or simply adults provide child-size cleaning tools or kitchen utensils.
Self-adjustment and letting go.
Doris, the founder of the blog "先生不姓蒙，養出一個蒙式娃," shared in the event "Montessori in My Home": I have learned and reflected a lot during my child's first year. Learning to self-adjust, learning how to observe the child, learning to believe that the child can do it by herself, and learning to let go. I often reflect on whether I am the one who becomes an obstacle to the child's development. Such learning and reflecting are essential parts of my life, the mum's daily life.
Indeed we are afraid that the child will hurt himself because we love him. But because of love, we can also choose to believe and support. In the parenting journey, self-adjustment and learning to let go are the most difficult to practice. No one is born to be a parent. We are often the first time parents. Therefore, it is inevitable that we will also make mistakes, and the parenting journey is possibly bumpy.
We have to be ourselves first, and then be the role of wife and mother. When we first are ourselves, our children can be indeed themselves truly. When we can make peace with ourselves, we can get along with our children in peace, and then our children can also make peace with themselves.
Self-adjustment and letting go also manifested in the process of interacting with other primary caregivers. Because each other's original families and life experiences are different, we have different attitudes and ways of caring for our children. We must accept that we can not change each other; we can only communicate and respect each other's practices. We can communicate with other caregivers about the bottom line of parenting, such as the child's safety. We can also try to let the other caregivers see that the child can do it by himself. We can explain to the child that we as caregivers all start with "love," but how we express love is different, reflecting various ways of taking care of him.
Applying Montessori at home is not difficult. Are you ready to begin the journey? If you have any questions about "Montessori at Home," you are welcome to contact us for more information.